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Change might be gradual or quick, but either way people tend to find it uncomfortable. The real problem is not the change – deep down we all know change is always going on around us – it is acceptance of change. More precisely, it is refusal to accept change.

The process of acceptance, when we come to terms with and adapt to change, is called transition. Transition takes time. It too might be gradual or quick, but it is always takes longer than we’d wish.

Like the weather, we know something will happen. Change happens anyway, we can’t predict what or when so we might as well embrace it, because we certainly can’t prevent it.

 

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I’m Wrong About Most Things, At Some Point

We shroud ourselves in beliefs that help us feel secure. One of these is that things tomorrow will be the same as they were yesterday. But the idea that things don’t change is a delusion, that is all.

Nothing wrong with that, but it is best to recognise it, and to keep an open mind about what will happen next. The greater our need to keep things the way they are, the greater the risk of disappointment and even neurosis.

Trying to control the uncontrollable is unpleasant for us, and those around us.

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Selective Optimism for Pessimists

There are advantages to optimism that are worth considering, but some people are put off because they don’t want to be disloyal to negativity.

Optimism and pessimism are generally seen as opposites, but that doesn’t mean they are mutually exclusive; learning optimism does not mean abandoning negativity. If that is what turns you on, stick with it.

If you tend towards a pessimistic outlook, how about learning selective optimism? That way you can get the benefits and still be true to your negativity.

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