Skip to Navigation

There are those who know they need to change or fix something and are more or less ready to get on with it.

  1. The second way of thinking is that that they recognise that something needs changing or fixing, and they expect someone else to do something about it.
  2. Then there are those who don’t have a problem. They’re only seeking help because someone else told them to do it.
  3. This idea comes from the solution-focused thinking. One of the pioneers (Steve DeShazer), cleverrly classified these three ways as the customer, ‘visitor’, ‘complainant’ and ‘customer’ attitudes.

Unfortunately some therapists fall into the trap of using the idea to define people, rather than their attitudes. Since it’s easier to change an attitude that it is to change a person, those therapists can quickly run into problems themselves.

It seems to me that is a bit like what happens in real life, when we can’t distinguish between a person, and their attitudes or beliefs. To put it more bluntly, is it possible to respect someone without respecting all that they believe in?

 

4 Responses to “Don’t Confuse People With Their Beliefs”

  1. It would all depend on what they said they believed in as to whether I respected them or not.

     

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

How You Behave Is What You Are

We are exhorted to grow and change, often by those with vested interests and it’s a short step to self-improvement bandwagon.

Striving to be ourselves is not something that is familiar, but there are hidden advantages.

Continue reading

Wake Up to Good Sleep

Sleep is a vital component in life-balance but this is not matched in our popular attitudes and understanding of it.

We have evolved to spend a third of our lives sleeping, yet many people think of sleep as an inconvenient waste of time, while others proclaim proudly that they “only need four hours sleep a night.”

Continue reading

Find a Sacred Place and Enter

It is a natural reaction to turn away from things that make us feel uncomfortable, so it is counter-intuitive to turn and face whatever we are fleeing. But I say, “Do it”.

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: