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The spectre of my own inadequacy used to haunt me. It was something I tried to hide from myself, and of course, from others.

I lived with a shadow I knew about, but which I hoped no-one else could see. I would deal with it by noting other peoples’ deficiencies, and at times pointing them out. It was an ugly habit, but in some small way it kept me safe from a nasty undercurrent that threatened my self-image.

It was costly too; I had to remaining vigilant so as to to miss others’ failings, as I saw them. That takes energy, and it created a tension in me that held me back from trying the things I’d really like to have tried. I was in a prison of my own making.

I can’t remember when it was exactly that I discovering my own inadequacy and learned to accept and embrace it, but I can vividly remember the effect. All of a sudden no-one could touch me with their judgements. I had realised too that however many mistakes I made, they were outnumbered a thousand-fold by the things I got right.

That was when I started a new life.

 

5 Responses to “Don’t Measure Up?”

  1. This story is also mine. But for today, and at this time I am happy with myself. What comes later…who knows? I may judge myself but I no longer listen to judgements from others. Good advice is great, judgements are not! Thank you for sharing this Barry.

     
  2. Great post! Really enjoy the blog Barry. See you next week. Miranda

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