When this post was originally published only the title appeared because I forgot to write the content! It had seemed a good idea at the time; I set up the post title with a future publication date, secure in the knowledge that I had plenty of time to complete it before the date came around.
Not for the first time in my life, I was wrong. I know that it’s healthy to be wrong, to know your wrong and to accept responsibility, so I don’t feel bad about my mistake, and because I have good self esteem I don’t feel compelled to offer meaningless apologies. I don’t feel guilty, and THAT’S what the post was intended to be about.
Life can be an enriching journey, but for many it is tarnished by unwarranted feelings of guilt. Why be on a guilt trip when Life is supposed to be an enriching journey? Guilt can be self-imposed, or a hand-me-down. Either way, you don’t need to suffer (unless you’ve done something you really should feel guilty about, then it’s justified).
Unwanted feelings of guilt
Life doesn’t have to be a guilt trip. Guilt is costly to individuals and damaging to relationships. One of the most harmful aspects is that many people spend years unable to make the choices they want freely and fully enjoy their lives . Inappropriate and unhealthy guilt that they have picked up over time stop them.
If you can answer “I do that” to any of the following, then I have some good news. Do you:
- Put yourself down/refuse to accept compliments?
- Constantly apologise/mention your ‘failings’?
- Feel responsible for someone else’s happiness, or their moods?
- Feel overly responsible/accept blame when you are not at fault?
- Get stressed about ‘getting it right’/worry what others think?
- Fear the judgements of others/make excuses for yourself?
- Ignore your inner wisdom and instincts?
- Suffer in silence/bite your lip when you have something important to say?
- Do things you really don’t want to do, for the wrong reasons?
- Frequently do what others want, suppressing your own wishes and ambitions?
I know quite a few people can answer ‘I do’ to some of these questions, because, as you may remember, some months ago I asked for your comments about guilt. I was developing my online course How to be Free of Guilt at the time, and it’s now ready to go live.
So, if you do suffer with unwarranted guilt as your companion, this course will tell you how to start to divorce yourself from them (the feelings, that is, nobody needs to suffer and ‘divorce’ in this case is a metaphor). Watch this space, launch date is 30th January!