Skip to Navigation

I was once attacked on London Bridge station for giving money to a homeless person. Verbally attacked – not physically – harangued might be e better word. “Don’t you know”, she yelled, “that there is a shelter across the street for people who need help? You are irresponsible and just fuelling a drugs habit!”

I responded by saying that, as habits go, taking drugs might be less harmful to others than attacking someone for an act of compassion. It didn’t go down well.

I may be smug about my riposte, but I’m not proud of it (it was grammatically untidy, but then I had no time to prepare). And I’m not proud that I responded to a perceived attack in kind. I made a hasty judgement which prompted my response, rather than following my own advice by taking the opportunity to open a reasoned debate. Still, I had a train to catch.

I don’t doubt the other’s sincere attachment to their ideas, but when ideas become judgements they become tricky, and when judgements are used to condemn others they become abhorrent.

My own hasty judgement (that I was being attacked), produced retaliation not understanding, resistance not rapport.

 

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

Conflict and bridge-building

Resilient social relationships discourage the escalation of conflict. Tension and conflict are an inevitable and some say necessary part of social interaction, and they need not be destructive. This workshop looks at the steps we can be take to help promote and maintain personal and group relationships that can be effective in the face of […]

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: