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It may be annoying, but people like to make their own decisions. It’s not only annoying though, it can be destructive too, if it is over-managed. Many family and relationship tensions are caused and maintained because one person thinks that they must make decisions for another person.

Even when the person appears unable or unwilling to decide, that may be their way of making a decision.

It’s hard letting someone you care for (or don’t), do something their own way when – through experience or insight – you know best. But unless there’s a direct threat to life and limb, it’s the safest route, in the long term. Even if there is a risk, perhaps it’s one they need to take. After all, we all need to learn to assess and manage risk for ourselves, don’t we?

Even where you judge that you know what’s best ‘for their own good, safety, wellbeing, or whatever’, remember that while your opinions may be good for you, your judgement can be off the mark where someone else is concerned.

Learning to relinquish control means that two people have an opportunity to grow.


One Response to “If They Can’t Decide, Maybe They Already Have”

  1. You are so right here…for me, especially when it comes to daughters. I have to keep on telling myself that I walked my journey on my own, and so must they. I’ve here for them for support, cheering them on, giving them my unconditional love, but I must keep my mouth shut when it comes to giving unasked for advice. We all make mistakes on our life journey, but they are mistakes that we need to make in order to grow, change, and try to become who we want to be…thanks so much Barry for the reminder, that their life is not mine, nor is mine theirs. They need to live theirs in there own way!


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