In my work, I often talk to people who are concerned about what they ‘should’ be. They are generally so preoccupied about this that they completely overlook who they ARE.
It can happen that the very problem they think they have is nothing more than them tussling with themselves, as they spend their time in fruitless attempts to become something they are not.
The way out of this dilemma is to practice self-acceptance. Ditching the judgemental attitude about yourself is a big and liberating step. It enables you to appreciate things in yourself which you otherwise won’t see.
Arguably, it’s even more important to drop that habit of should-ness when dealing with your children. Training them for life in society is one thing, but trying to get them to conform to your idea of who they are will limit them.
It also lays the foundation for the next generation of adults who will struggle with who they ‘should’ be, unable to love and accept who they are.