Skip to Navigation

Next time someone upsets you it might help to reduce the tension  if you remember three things:

  1. No-one upsets us, we upset ourselves by the way we interpret their actions (that is, the meaning we attribute to an event).
  2. Our interpretations – or meanings – are often wrong (Two examples: Gail is late = interpretation: she is late because she doesn’t care about me. Or, John is scowling = interpretation: John is angry. Perhaps Gail stopped to help someone on her way and that made her late, and maybe John just got toothache, or swallowed a fly!) It’s our dodgy and premature interpretations that give us grief, not the event.
  3. For daily events like these we usually don’t need meanings. It’s just that the mind has a mind of its own and, unless stopped, will analyse, ruminate and conjure until it comes up with a ‘satisfactory’ explanation.

The cure for this is to resist looking for explanations. “Gail is late, full-stop. “I have just noticed that John is scowling.”

Trouble starts with what comes next. No ’next’? No problem!

 

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

Power Labels and Cop-Outs

When someone says, “It’s a power thing”, or “Power corrupts”… they are not providing a useful summary, they are telling you that they haven’t thought it through and are not likely to.

Continue reading

It’s Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood

Does our past act as an indelible watermark on our lives? Clearly not, but that doesn’t stop many people (and some professionals in the mental health field), acting as though it does.

Judith Claybourne’s TED video is insightful and highly relevant for anyone who believes that we are victims of our past.

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: