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I’ve set up a survey under the Couples Retreats banner, you can view the survey at the link below.

It is easy to under estimate how strong and resilient your relationship is; most have more going for them than the couple realises. This is because we tend to focus on an amplify the perceived cracks in the bond, rather than focusing on the glue that holds us together.

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The Sow’s Ear Effect

Telling yourself good stuff about yourself seems, intuitively, like a good idea. It is supposed to help you feel good, or better, about yourself, and to gradually build self-esteem.

But this only works if the statements – or ‘affirmations’ – are believable. Far fetched inspirational statements seem like a good idea, but they can actually have the opposite effect.

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Hear the Storyteller, Not Just the Story

Stories have the power to persuade and change, they can also condemn and isolate us.

Once we are past childhood we judge a story by the storyteller. We look for interests and motives that could render the story invalid or suspect.

When we listen to the stories we tell ourselves we should be similarly cautious, the narrator is usually hugely biased.

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