Skip to Navigation

If you want to build resilience it helps to understand that you almost certainly already have everything you need.

I was asked recently, “How can I get to a point where I’m more resilient?”. The person who asked me was a highly committed professional in a demanding role. She also has a spouse, two young children. She also had family responsibilities beyond tha; her mother had died a few years ago and her father was steadily becoming more dependent on her.

It’s common question but a perplexing one; perhaps it is indicative of a pervasive quick-fix mentality where we increasingly expect ‘solutions’ and ‘cures’ for things which simply don’t have one, any more than the question has a single ‘answer’.

Perhaps too part of the problem is that it is the wrong question.

We are all resilient to some degree, and it fluctuates; we are more or less resilient depending on circumstance, state of health, demand and a range of other variables. The skills (if that’s the right word) of resilience are learnable, but it’s not like learning to swim or to ride a bike (once learned never forgotten); it’s more like learning to keep yourself on an even keel (with constant turns at the helm and trimming of sails).

To continue the metaphor, if you have to cross a stretch of treacherous water, and you had a sailing boat but only limited experience on water, which would be the more useful question: “How to I get to the other side?” or, “How do I sail this boat?”

 

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

Conversational Insights and Openings

We frequently abandon conversations before they really get started. Once sparks begin to fly – or we fear that they will – we back off.

Yet that is precisely the moment to engage in discussion, but that would require commitment to overcoming the fears of our own imaginings. Our excuse is that that to keep talking will make things worse. It doesn’t, if you go about it the right way.

The trouble is, no-one ever tells us how to do it, so we grow up with childish notions about opposition automatically leading to a fight.

That only happens because we make it happen by fighting.

Continue reading

It Speaks for Itself

We can learn a lot from our elders and betters, yet we often disregard their wisdom.

When somebody has been around for a long time they might have something interesting to tell us.

Continue reading

How to Remedy Guilty Feelings

Manage feelings, confidence boosting

If you are troubled by unwanted feelings of guilt, here’s an exercise that can help. It is part of my soon-to-be-released online course ‘How to be Free of Guilt’.

The trick is to make the feelings disappear by making mischief.

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: