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“A big thank you for the work you did with me – the most enjoyable and stimulating therapy sessions I’ve spent – and, as you know, there’s been a few of the ‘varieties’!! I’m very well and work is fine.

“It was so refreshing to feel on an equal footing with the person ‘helping’/’enabling’ (nice word!). Because of the commitment and honesty of the ‘helper’, the last thing I, for one, need when I feel inadequate, is a therapist who insists on being the ‘controller’ and knowledge/skill holder – just reinforces it! So, thank you again for your knowledge, skills, care and support and your very positive view on depression, so well shared.”

 

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I’m Wrong About Most Things, At Some Point

We shroud ourselves in beliefs that help us feel secure. One of these is that things tomorrow will be the same as they were yesterday. But the idea that things don’t change is a delusion, that is all.

Nothing wrong with that, but it is best to recognise it, and to keep an open mind about what will happen next. The greater our need to keep things the way they are, the greater the risk of disappointment and even neurosis.

Trying to control the uncontrollable is unpleasant for us, and those around us.

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Selective Optimism for Pessimists

There are advantages to optimism that are worth considering, but some people are put off because they don’t want to be disloyal to negativity.

Optimism and pessimism are generally seen as opposites, but that doesn’t mean they are mutually exclusive; learning optimism does not mean abandoning negativity. If that is what turns you on, stick with it.

If you tend towards a pessimistic outlook, how about learning selective optimism? That way you can get the benefits and still be true to your negativity.

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