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Certain negative communication styles are so lethal to a relationship that Dr. John Gottman calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy if the behaviour isn’t changed.

But all is not lost, Gottman has also researched how healthy couples stay that way by protecting their relationship and doing essential repairs BEFORE they are needed.

 

 

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Conversational Insights and Openings

We frequently abandon conversations before they really get started. Once sparks begin to fly – or we fear that they will – we back off.

Yet that is precisely the moment to engage in discussion, but that would require commitment to overcoming the fears of our own imaginings. Our excuse is that that to keep talking will make things worse. It doesn’t, if you go about it the right way.

The trouble is, no-one ever tells us how to do it, so we grow up with childish notions about opposition automatically leading to a fight.

That only happens because we make it happen by fighting.

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It Speaks for Itself

We can learn a lot from our elders and betters, yet we often disregard their wisdom.

When somebody has been around for a long time they might have something interesting to tell us.

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