Skip to Navigation

The language we use shapes our thoughts and our experience. Think of the following:

“I’ve had a really bad day. I messed up a project and I’ll have to do it all over again. It’s all be my fault for being so useless, I’ll never catch up, I could lose my job when they find out.”
Compared with:
Right now I feel as if I’ve had a really bad day. I’ll probably get over it, but I realise I’ve got to re-do a project, and that’ll take time. I’d better keep my manager informed and let her know I’m rescheduling a couple of things. It’s competitive at work, but anybody can make a mistake. The important thing is how you correct it.”

The first example uses language which paints a pretty hopeless picture. It catastrophes and suggests that errors have permanent and final consequences, which of course, in this situation, they don’t.

The second example gives similar information in a more factual and action-based way. It also suggests what to do in the face of the event (a messed up project). It covers the same information without the personalised and judgemental language.

These are just examples, the point is the thoughts derived from the language can make you feel guilty and hopeless. It becomes part of a vicious cycle and leads on to other self-defeating thoughts.

By recognising this ‘inner dialogue’ you can intervene and change it. For guidance, aim for objective reporting (of events), and positive actions that might follow. The kind of language we use has a definitive impact on expectations and experience. Change the language and you can change how you feel, and consequently how you act. With practice, it can become a habit.

 

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

Are You a Tree or a Chair?

You probably don’t consider yourself to be either. I got thinking about this and once I’d engaged my metaphorical-thinking-train-of-thought things got a little out of hand.

See what you think.

Continue reading

How to bounce back

personal resilience survey

Despite the gloom and the pressures individuals can do something for themselves. Survival at work – or anywhere else for that matter – relies on personal attributes like the ability to self-manage and to find a sense of purpose out of apparent chaos and disorder.

Continue reading

Stop trying and start doing

Do you ever catch yourself prefacing your good intentions with “I’ll try…”?

We all have lists of things we haven’t got round to doing anything about yet. It doesn’t matter how important these are or how serious you are, if you are not making anything happen they mean nothing.

If you are really serious about making things happen for yourself this post tells you one really vital thing you must do.

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: