Skip to Navigation

Persuasion and Healing

The most obvious tactics often don’t work. Empathy and ‘getting alongside’ is often more effective.

Here’s a heartwarming and informative video. It has a big aaaah! factor, for sure, but like so many of these things it is a real opportunity to re-learn something we all know how to do.

Continue reading

Adjusting to a New Reality for The Sake of the Children

Most people adjust to the ‘new reality’ eventually, when children are involved we have an obligation to do it sooner, rather than later.

It’s curious, that when grown-ups are angry they are told they are acting like children, and when children are angry, they are often told to “grow up.”

Dealing with the emotional aftermath of separation or divorce is unfathomably difficult, but however tough it is, part of the parental contract means that we will sometimes need to act like responsible adults, even though we don’t want to.

Continue reading

In Pursuit of Should-ness

Self-acceptance

If you are locked into a personal battle about what you should or shouldn’t do, it can be pointless and self-defeating. There are many ways to be yourself. Just don’t think how you should go about it.

You can help your children too by avoiding the habit of telling what they should be.

Continue reading

Not Until You Leave Home

It’s a paradox of parenting that we want our kids to develop into free-thinkers who will make their mark, but we also expect them to do as they are told.

It’s obvious that this can produce a clash of ideals, but we generally don’t realise that until it’s too late.

Continue reading

Say What You Want, Not What You Don’t Want

Don't sign

Have you ever wondered why so many instructions fail?

It’s often because they are not instructions at all, but an expression of the speakers own apprehensions.

Without knowing it, when you start the sentence with “Don’t…” you are inviting the receiver to do what follows.

Continue reading