Skip to Navigation

The real problem when two people have a problem is that they see the problem as an obstacle, rather than an opportunity to talk.

I know this sounds a bit like trite trainer-talk, but if it is repeated so often (by me anyway), it is because it’s true.

Arguments are seen as combat, but they don’t need to be. Instead, take a deep breath, and try an opener like:

“So we disagree, what can we do about it?”

“My interest is in resolving this, not in fighting.”

“We are both angry, so we won’t be able to sort this out now. When shall we come back to it so we can discuss it and find a solution we both agree on?”

Sure, the other person will continue to verbally assault you, but stick with it. Demonstrate sincere intent and you could open up a meaningful discussion. If you don’t, at least you’ll have transcended the mess and reduced your own stress levels.

It may take two people to start a fight, but it only takes one to stop it.

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

What If We’re Wrong About Addiction?

What really causes addiction. And how can we overcome it? You might think that the experts know how to deal with addiction, and how to help people ‘rehabilitate’ themselves. It’s a reassuring thought, but incorrect. We are obsessed with punishment (after all, addicts do it to themselves, don’t they?), and the whole caboodle based on misconceptions […]

Continue reading

Not Perfect But Not Imperfect Either

imperfection

Some people make a habit of publicising what they see as their imperfections by making apologising in advance. It’s not helpful to them, the situation, or the relationship.

And false modesty is not attractive.

Continue reading
FREE DOWNLOAD - Get it now.

How to be more Resilient

Get my super-helpful guide '9 Steps to Resilience' absolutely FREE, when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.
close-link
%d bloggers like this: