The spectre of my own inadequacy used to haunt me. It was something I tried to hide from myself, and of course, from others.

I lived with a shadow I knew about, but which I hoped no-one else could see. I would deal with it by noting other peoples’ deficiencies, and at times pointing them out. It was an ugly habit, but in some small way it kept me safe from a nasty undercurrent that threatened my self-image.

It was costly too; I had to remaining vigilant so as to to miss others’ failings, as I saw them. That takes energy, and it created a tension in me that held me back from trying the things I’d really like to have tried. I was in a prison of my own making.

I can’t remember when it was exactly that I discovering my own inadequacy and learned to accept and embrace it, but I can vividly remember the effect. All of a sudden no-one could touch me with their judgements. I had realised too that however many mistakes I made, they were outnumbered a thousand-fold by the things I got right.

That was when I started a new life.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.

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5 Comments

  1. silverlining February 16, 2016 at 4:34 pm - Reply

    I’m so glad that you feel more confident now :)

  2. Sue Marsh February 16, 2016 at 7:06 pm - Reply

    This story is also mine. But for today, and at this time I am happy with myself. What comes later…who knows? I may judge myself but I no longer listen to judgements from others. Good advice is great, judgements are not! Thank you for sharing this Barry.

  3. Miranda hedges February 22, 2016 at 10:37 pm - Reply

    Great post! Really enjoy the blog Barry. See you next week. Miranda

    Sent from my iPhone

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