I was at a lecture on emotional wellbeing and I heard someone say “If only it was that easy”. It is, when you know how, but few of us are taught it, so you have to go out and learn it.

Nobody is born knowing how to drive a car, bake bread or raise children. The understanding and skills have to be learned. It’s the same with emotional management.

If the next question is “How do I learn that”, don’t ask me, I’m a bloke! Men aren’t in touch with their emotions (so we are told), so how would I know?

What I can say, unequivocally, is that emotions get better with practice. The more you do it, the easier it is to do more of it. Practice feeling love, and it gets easier, practice feeling less desirable emotions, like anger or guilt, and that gets easier too.

So maybe the answer is to put some effort into practicing the emotions you want; do it enough and the unwanted ones will simply be pushed aside.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.

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One Comment

  1. Sue Marsh December 16, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    I’ve found this to be so true. As I grew older I became braver about showing all my emotions. My life has been enriched because of this. Where once I was shy and thought I should be what everyone else wanted me to be, now I hug and tell people how much I love them (even folk I don’t really know well), I cry when I feel like crying, I laugh when something is funny (a lot of life is funny) and if I’m sad, or low, I’m not afraid to show that either. Because of this I have found many wonderful friends, friends who know the genuine me. Try it, you’ll find it works!!

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