We know about the glass one, and there are other ones too, but I’m talking about a much more personal type of limit on our abilities and achievements. Actually, I am talking about one of my own hang-ups, and of inconsistent thinking.

I don’t know how it of for you, but I have a sort of inner price-list running all the time, in the background of my mind. It means that, whenever I am about to buy something of pay for a service, my inner price-checker does a comparison (what I think I should pay against what I am being asked to pay). This is mostly unconscious and it can waste a lot of time as I search for the ‘ideal’ product. The problem is that, because the price-comparison process happening outside my conscious awareness, I don’t realise what I’m doing as I go round in circles.

It can be frustrating for me, and at times has driven my family up the wall, For example, when looking for a place to eat; always hoping that the next restaurant will be the ‘right’ one, but it never is, winding up with us eating somewhere I’d previously rejected.

Escape into the light

However, I have now broken through this invisible ceiling into the beautiful light and fresh air provided by insight. Self-knowledge is liberating, isn’t it? As with so many things, wisdom came from the young. One of my sons pointed it out, following one of my ‘episodes’ in a supermarket, when he said “I don’t get it, Dad will spend £200 on  pair of shoes, but he won’t spend £1.35 on a loaf of bread.” It gave me pause for thought. It does seem a little inconsistent to buy expensive items in one category and scrimp on others because the internal price-controller dictates it.

It works the other way too (as the same son also pointed out), I’ll buy the most expensive milk – and I don’t drink milk – but go for the cheapest item in other departments. This is compounded by the irrationality of my advice to others (when they’ll listen), to “always buy the best you can afford”.

Still, thanks to my son’s remark (credit where it’s due, and I’ll get my own back one day), I am now coming to terms with this and lightening up. As can happen, once I realised what has been going on in my mind, I could do something about it. I now buy good bread whatever the price… I haven’t got round to thinking about the shoe habit yet.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.

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2 Comments

  1. Philip Carr-Gomm December 9, 2014 at 8:05 am

    I recognise this one Barry. Only took me about 50 years to stop doing it!

    • bwinbolt December 14, 2014 at 10:47 am

      At least you managed to stop it. I’m a bit better, but old habits die hard.

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