Many people yearn for ‘time for themselves’, often because they think they don’t get enough of it. In some cases, it’s a reaction against feeling overwhelmed by demand. In others, it is because they have an ambition that they think the day job is preventing them from pursuing.

In either case, there is a conflict between doing what one HAS to do, and doing what one claims one would LIKE to do. I say ‘claims’ because very often our hankering after change is merely a reaction against dissatisfaction in the present. “If only…” and “When I have time…” act as distracting daydreams in which we promise ourselves something better.

If the ‘something better’ arrived tomorrow would you be prepared for it? Like the woman who went to India to find herself, but the only thing she found was that she wasn’t there either!

Feeling overwhelmed by demand is a common complaint. It is perfectly possible to have some improvements without disrupting anything or upsetting anyone; small incremental changes to attitude and routines can lead to magical transformations. Before starting, though, it helps to fast forward (in your imagination) to how it will be when you have got what you want.

There are 27 solutions to the dilemma of ‘no time for myself’. But first, you have to consider just how you’ll use the time, if and when you actually get it. Second, will you really be able to deal with the solitude, or will you simply recreate your old patterns as a reaction to the new?

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.


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