Kindness and conflict are not Incompatible, you can do both, so conflict and disagreement don’t have to do lasting damage

In conflict, kindness should transcend the animosity and hurt that the disagreement produces. If you are in an argument, you should be able fight with somebody without allowing the emotion to swamp you and corrode your sense of decency.

If you value a relationship one minute, what justification is there for deliberately driving a wedge of pain between you the next, just because yo disagree about something?

It’s a matter of personal responsibility. Dr Johnson allegedly said “Kindness is in your power, even when fondness is not.” This is a tall order, I know, but it was good advice.