Listening well is important, but what if you feel you are not being heard?

“Listening is all very well, but…”. This is what a few people have said to me. They follow it with something like “… I want to be listened TO, how can I make sure people listen to me and that I am HEARD?”

At this point, if I’m in conversation with them, I usually turn away slightly and pay close attention to something other than the speaker, to show that I get their point, and that I’m not really interested. Maybe I check the time, fiddle with my ‘phone, or gaze past them…

That usually get’s their attention and some sort of reaction. Which is the point I want to make.

I don’t recommend my strategy, it might appear rude. But, paradoxically, if you want others to pay attention to you, the best way to go about it is first to pay attention to THEM.