reinvent yourself, loss

In the pain and uncertainty of change people often make decisions they later come to regret. It can be a surprise that, even when we have been looking forward to an event (like marriage or retirement for example), life sometimes gets uncomfortable for a time.

Anatole France said:

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”

Every change or separation can leave us with a sense of loss, and during that time we can feel adrift, dissatisfied and unhappy.

Whether through bereavement, job loss, divorce, or relocation, there will always be a period of uncertainty. As that makes us feel uncomfortable, a natural reaction is to try and re-capture the past by replacing what we lost.

Loss and discovery

Many people who have been through major, unwanted change will tell you that there’s also unexpected opportunity. Despite the pain and scariness, they felt following their loss, as time progressed, they used the opportunity to re-invent themselves.

Every loss leaves us feeling uncertain about what to do next. This is when some people try to assuage the uncomfortable feelings by attempts at recreating the past, which is the opposite of growth. The best course of action is no action.

Adapting to loss or change takes time. How long? Who knows. Stay with it and accept where you are.


I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.