not listening

It’s frustrating when someone won’t listen. Mostly, we respond by stepping up our attempts to be heard. By speaking more loudly, insisting and imposing our point, for example.

Like it or not, at work and elsewhere you’ll be judged on your communication skills. Effective communication is important because it influences not only how others perceive you, but also how much they like, respect, and trust you.

You may have thought of communication as only broadcasting or sharing informaton, but receiving informaton is just as important.

How well you listen and how you appear as a listener influences whether others take the time to listen to you. Ignore your listening skills and others may well ignore you.

Being a good communicator is high on the list of what all employers want in their employees, so it affects not only your career prospects, but also whether you get the job in the first place!

Taking an honest look at how you communicate, and resolving to work on being as good as you can be will quickly bring benefits for you. If in doubt, ask around. Choose people you trust to give you fair and honest feedback (don’t just ask your best friend), and remember that modesty and humility are not only endearing qualities, they are hallmarks of a leader.
In conclusion

Importantly, your listening skills are constantly on show and constantly being assessed, so honing your skills should be a top priority. This may not be apparent in our day-to-day communications, but when the chips are down, it matters.

Being a confident communicator doesn’t mean being pushy, brash, or outspoken. The best communicators:
• Listen more than they speak
• Ask quesCons rather than giving opinions
• Observe, rather than imposing or asserCng prematurely
• Praise others, rather than promoCng themselves.
Confident and presence of mind to act like this. It can take Cme to culCvate these inner qualiCes, so pracCce and persevere.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.