We construct our reality in a moment-by-moment way. The more you focus on something, the more real (and dominant) it seems. Which means that you have more control then you realised!
A simple way to check and prove this is to apply it to an important relationship. Instead of focusing on its perceived shortcomings and disappointments, switch your attention to the strengths and successes, which inevitably you share.
Relationship success means it will thrive and prosper. And this success depends as much on how you both view your partnership as it does on anything else. However good your relationship with your life partner, it is your perceptions which will dictate your mutual satisfaction, and how well the relationship serves you.
It will always need attention to remain the close bond you created at the start. Keeping a positive and upbeat view of your partnership will help keep it strong, whereas negative perceptions mean you’ll feel less inclined to invest and do the maintenance that all relationships need to keep them healthy. If occasional cracks appear, how you approach them will determine whether they are critical or not.
Don’t despair. It’s easy to see the downside, especially when you are worried, stressed or under pressure. The truth is, your relationship is almost certainly stronger than you realise. Build on the strengths gets better outcomes than agonising about the perceived failings does.