language and emotions

Have you ever noticed how people will complain about a difficulty, and when you proffer a suggestion or offer to help, they turn it down with a dismissive comment.

They dismiss the problem (which they may have been moaning about for months), I don’t mean they dismiss you, though it has the same effect.

Of course, it may be that they don’t want to be offered a solution, they just need to talk about what’s troubling them.

When presented with someone else’s problem a sensible first step is to ask them what they hope for in sharing it with you, then you can respond accordingly.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.



  1. Philip Carr-Gomm December 15, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Really worth expanding on Barry. It’s such a common phenomenon. Sympathy not solutions is what they want? Another post needed I reckon!

    • bwinbolt December 15, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      Tak Philip! I’ve mad a note and will follow up. Thanks for the suggestion.

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