Whether it is unexpected, sudden, planned, welcome or unwelcome, change can be very de-stabilising. Whatever it is due to, when the circumstances of our lives are altered we need time to adapt. This is often where the difficulties arise because it is a time of uncertainty and uncertainty makes us feel uncomfortable. Although change can be abrupt, we may need time for the psychological adaptation – transition from one part of our lives to the next – to happen. Be patient and go with the flow.
Bereavement and grieving are generally associated with the death of a loved one, but people can experience similar reactions following other kinds of change or loss.
Adapting to change can be a shock to the system, and It takes time. You can't set a timetable – everyone adapts differently – but usually a few months or a couple of years are enough for someone to start living comfortably with 'the new reality', and re-building a life. In this case, it's a divorce, but whatever the change, we all manage the process in our own way. It helps to have insight, to be honest with oneself, and to accept. But occasionally people get stuck. It's a doubly painful when they don't even realise it.
Keeping separation and loss alive can be more damaging in the long term than the events themselves. There's merit in the idea that while we should rightly honour the past, we must also be willing to welcome the future. A ritual can do both, simultaneously.
Human beings are naturally altrusitic, but when it comes to our personal relationships we can be petty, pernickity and petulant. And that's often the undoing of us. Some relationships are made to fail, and others should never get off the ground. Most hit rough water at some point; it is how they are tested and strengthened. If you value yours but it is struggling, remember that you have to invest in it. If a relationship is worth saving it is worth working at, even though sometimes you might not feel like it!
Who does Personal Consulting help? There's no single type of person who comes to see me, but there are some common factors. One of these is that people who seek professional help recognise that something must change, and they're prepared to do something about it. Another common factor is their stamina and resilience, though often they don't see it like that, at first.
I have put the list together because it seemed like a good idea, and because I am feeling mischievous. But if you know about the Trickster, you'll also know that mischieve often has a deeper purpose.