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New SFBT book

At last it is finished. Solution Focused Therapy for the Helping Professions will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers on 15th December. Do you want to work more effectively with your clients? You can pre-order now and start the new year with new enthusiasm.

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Giving bad news

I have had many requests recently for information and training on handling redundancy and giving bad news. In response I have prepared a handout to help those who must perform this unenviable task prepare for the job.

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One Damn thing…

Elbert Hubbard, the American writer, philosopher and wit, said “Life is just one damned thing after another.” So true. If you are in the business of helping others it is worth remembering that we can’t fix lives, but we can help people to better manage the ‘damn things’.

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Tweet for Spring

Spring is here and the birds have started up, so this seems the right time for me to begin tweeting. I experimented with Twitter some time back and now I’m starting to use it. Proper business people would probably call this delay an ‘extended evaluation period’, but the truth is that I just couldn’t make […]

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Whatever They Say, It’s Just Information

Workplace Mediation, dialogue

Thinking that we have supernatural powers can cause difficulties. Take mind reading for example. There is only one way to be sure that you have understood another person correctly. However well you know them, you can’t read their mind, so check before acting.

The problem is compounded when your relationship is long-standing; your partner invariably thinks they know what you mean, and vice-versa.

It’s not the exchange of information that is the problem, it’s that we believe we know what it means.

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How to Show Empathy

What is the difference between empathy and sympathy, and why does on bring us together while the other drives us apart?

It takes Dr Brené Brown just over two minute to explain in this video.

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Knowing When Just To Be Present

What does it mean to hold space for someone? At the heart of it is listening. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEfrj4tqgtU&w=560&h=315] With thanks to Adrian Juric for sharing this.

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Helping Might Mean Standing Back

If someone is resisting you, or your advice, it can be annoying, frustrating and even destructive.

The eventual result can be worse than you imagined and certainly not what you intended.

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