We are exhorted to grow and change, often by those with vested interests and it's a short step to self-improvement bandwagon. Striving to be ourselves is not something that is familiar, but there are hidden advantages.
If you are locked into a personal battle about what you should or shouldn't do, it can be pointless and self-defeating. There are many ways to be yourself. Just don't think how you should go about it. You can help your children too by avoiding the habit of telling what they should be.
The spectre of my own inadequacy used to haunt me. [...]