Skip to Navigation

Reducing things to ‘either/or’ simplicity is something we tend to do because it suits how our minds work. We like simplicity and order, and we seek to neatly categorise things. It’s tidier that way and it saves us thinking.

When we do this to ourselves it is a lazy habit. That’s not a problem most of the time, but it becomes a problem when we make hasty judgements too often because we can lose the ability to think carefully about things that affect us.

When others do it for us (and they do, all the time), it can be persuasive and manipulative. Problems are presented as having either/or solutions, just two possibilities to force a choice, or the accusation of being indecisive (which is almost a crime in societies which prize decision and action highly).

To ‘either/or’ we could add “I’ll get back to you on that, when I’ve had time to think about/understand/look into, it”.

There is always choice though perhaps some we are unwilling to exercise.

Latest from the blog

3 Ways to Stop an Argument As If You Cared

communication breakdown

Anyone can argue. There’s no talent in fighting. There’s no glory in ‘winning’ an argument, though you wouldn’t know it from the evidence we see around us.

Continue reading

Discounted Conflict workshop in April

I am presenting an open workshop on Approaches to Conflict for the Institute of Family Therapy on the 29th April. These places are being offered for just £90.00 (normal price £120.00). Book now to be sure of a place.

Continue reading
%d bloggers like this: