There are two ways of going about things. Follow one and you can waste a lot of time. Follow the other and you might find that the ‘thing’ is closer than you think.

The first way is to strive for what you want to learn and what you want to be. Though this seems reasonable it can be hard work and it can even have the reverse effect. Striving or yearning for something emphasises the distance between what is now, and what you wish to become.

The other way is to focus on what you are, what you can understand and what you can become. It takes less effort and it improves your creatiity and satisfaction, among other things. You might also find that people are warmer towards you, because sincerity has that effect.

Goals are useful, but don’t be seduced by distracting aspirations.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.



  1. halfwaybetweenlifeanddreaming February 5, 2016 at 11:55 pm

    Brilliant advice, so simple yet you have put it in terms that I hadn’t thought about before. I know that ‘distance’ all too well! I think I feel a brainstorm of what I am coming on! XX

  2. halfwaybetweenlifeanddreaming February 8, 2016 at 9:14 pm

    Thanks Barry, I attended one of your training sessions back in 2008, Dealing with Difficult People, I STILL remember some of the advice you gave and implement it even now, so happy to have found your material online :) Thank you for your blog encouragement :) XX

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