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When problem-talk becomes a central feature in someone’s narrative it can have a pervasive and nagging effect that with time begins to define who they are and how they experience life.

By talking about only what is wrong a person can start to take a passive and dependent role, relying more on fate than on their own ability to take control of their life.

There is a well established link between wellbeing and how we explain events to ourselves (psychologists call it explanatory style). We all like a bit of a moan sometimes, but if it becomes a pervasive theme it is toxic to the human spirit.

The good news is that we can train ourselves out of it. Watch this space.

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Never Mind What Others Think

what others think

Even though we don’t realise it when we say we know what someone thinks about something, we are guessing. Even mind-reading – in a fairground or on stage – is trickery.

Yet we often allow our own thoughts and behaviour to be goverened by what we claim someone else will think. Maybe it’s time to review what we ‘know’.

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One thing better

Getting things done is not half as satisfying as doing things well. This is because we get personal satisfaction from giving something all our attention, doing it to the best of our abilities, being absorbed in it while we are doing it, and looking back with pride at a job well done.
“Enough time” has nothing to do with it, as you’ll see.

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