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When problem-talk becomes a central feature in someone’s narrative it can have a pervasive and nagging effect that with time begins to define who they are and how they experience life.

By talking about only what is wrong a person can start to take a passive and dependent role, relying more on fate than on their own ability to take control of their life.

There is a well established link between wellbeing and how we explain events to ourselves (psychologists call it explanatory style). We all like a bit of a moan sometimes, but if it becomes a pervasive theme it is toxic to the human spirit.

The good news is that we can train ourselves out of it. Watch this space.

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What is ‘real’ conversation?

Most of our conversations work well, and a few don’t, and these are the ones we tend to remember. We could learn more by reflecting on the exchanges that work, and using these four suggestions as a guide to having more healthy conversations.

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