We all have things about ourselves we’d like to change. Quite often we keep these aspects of at bay by avoiding thinking about them. We hide them in some dark place we’d rather not visit.
That’s OK, because you don’t have to go there in order to change.
Rather than trying to flee what you don’t want to be, make a beeline for what you do want to be in your life (I’m talking about personal qualities here, not status).
You can put a lot of (fruitless) effort and energy into trying to avoid things you don’t like about yourself.
As a general rule, it is easier and more enjoyable to decide how you’d like to be in your life, and plan the steps that’ll take you towards it.