When problem-talk becomes a central feature in someone’s narrative it can have a pervasive and nagging effect that with time begins to define who they are and how they experience life.

By talking about only what is wrong a person can start to take a passive and dependent role, relying more on fate than on their own ability to take control of their life.

There is a well established link between wellbeing and how we explain events to ourselves (psychologists call it explanatory style). We all like a bit of a moan sometimes, but if it becomes a pervasive theme it is toxic to the human spirit.

The good news is that we can train ourselves out of it. Watch this space.