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Thermometers and Thermostats

Which one are you? A thermometer measures the ambient temperature of its milieu. It checks and reports. A thermostat on the other hand responds to its environment. It also checks, but then it makes little adjustments… it actually influences the environment. You might say that a thermometer is a rather passive receptor, and a thermostat […]

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New SFBT book

At last it is finished. Solution Focused Therapy for the Helping Professions will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers on 15th December. Do you want to work more effectively with your clients? You can pre-order now and start the new year with new enthusiasm.

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Take Short Thinking Breaks

For as long as I can remember I have punctuated my day with regular ‘thinking breaks’. I don’t know when I started this habit or how I learned it. I only know that as far back in my working career as I can remember I have stopped mid-morning and mid-afternoon(ish) to switch off by reading […]

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How to Tame Your Inner Critic


If your Inner Critic is too bolshie you can do something about it. Many people worry about low self-esteem, but the more you worry about it the worse you feel. One of the features of low self-esteem is the tendency to make harsh judgements about oneself.

I’ve found that it is more productive to focus on what you want (the solution), than it is to worry about what you have (the problem). After all, the more you worry about a problem the bigger it can appear.

If harsh self criticism is a problem for you, I have a free downloadable exercise to help you develop greater self-compassion.

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For Success, Embrace Failure

success, difficult behaviour, personal resilience

Being comfortable with setback, the possibility of rejection and even failure may be an advantage and a critical factor in achievement and success. Once we embrace failure as a part of the path to success we free ourselves from its drag and can invest more fully in creativity.

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3 Ways to Save a Failing Relationship

Save a relationship

Human beings are naturally altrusitic, but when it comes to our personal relationships we can be petty, pernickity and petulant. And that’s often the undoing of us.

Some relationships are made to fail, and others should never get off the ground. Most hit rough water at some point; it is how they are tested and strengthened.

If you value yours but it is struggling, remember that you have to invest in it. If a relationship is worth saving it is worth working at, even though sometimes you might not feel like it!

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Depression Needn’t Mean Dysfunction

‘Depression’ is a concept, not an illness. The need to blame is a personal issue, and blaming a concept is about as sensible as blaming the weather.

Depression happens. In most cases it can be fixed, and in all cases it can be adapted to. Blaming is a choice, depression isn’t.

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Why Do Goats Get a Bad Rap?

bad rap

In mythology the goat symbolises the lost. I prefer to think that if goats were ostracised it is because of their fierce independence and self-sufficiency. These are qualities that any culture or community needs in a few people, because they create waves and challenge the status quo. It’s easy to see why goats should stay in the […]

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How to be more Resilient

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Understand the steps to resilience and you can develop the ability to cope with problems and setbacks with less stress and more confidence.