Barry Winbolt’s Blog: “Life doesn’t have to be like that.”
Daily posts on topics that will help you get a better handle on yourself and life in general.
Which one are you? A thermometer measures the ambient temperature of its milieu. It checks and reports. A thermostat on the other hand responds to its environment. It also checks, but then it makes little adjustments… it actually influences the environment. You might say that a thermometer is a rather passive receptor, and a thermostat […]
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At last it is finished. Solution Focused Therapy for the Helping Professions will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers on 15th December. Do you want to work more effectively with your clients? You can pre-order now and start the new year with new enthusiasm.
Continue readingWe are problem-solving creatures. We love a challenge and without them we don’t grow and mature fully.
It would be great if an under-used intellect could set its owner crosswords and Sudoku to keep itself busy, but it doesn’t.
What happens next?
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For as long as I can remember I have punctuated my day with regular ‘thinking breaks’. I don’t know when I started this habit or how I learned it. I only know that as far back in my working career as I can remember I have stopped mid-morning and mid-afternoon(ish) to switch off by reading […]
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If your Inner Critic is too bolshie you can do something about it. Many people worry about low self-esteem, but the more you worry about it the worse you feel. One of the features of low self-esteem is the tendency to make harsh judgements about oneself.
I’ve found that it is more productive to focus on what you want (the solution), than it is to worry about what you have (the problem). After all, the more you worry about a problem the bigger it can appear.
If harsh self criticism is a problem for you, I have a free downloadable exercise to help you develop greater self-compassion.
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Being comfortable with setback, the possibility of rejection and even failure may be an advantage and a critical factor in achievement and success. Once we embrace failure as a part of the path to success we free ourselves from its drag and can invest more fully in creativity.
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When you compare your goal with where you are now it seem far-off and that can discourage you. Start with what you have, and you’ll be motivated.
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Human beings are naturally altrusitic, but when it comes to our personal relationships we can be petty, pernickity and petulant. And that’s often the undoing of us.
Some relationships are made to fail, and others should never get off the ground. Most hit rough water at some point; it is how they are tested and strengthened.
If you value yours but it is struggling, remember that you have to invest in it. If a relationship is worth saving it is worth working at, even though sometimes you might not feel like it!
Continue reading‘Depression’ is a concept, not an illness. The need to blame is a personal issue, and blaming a concept is about as sensible as blaming the weather.
Depression happens. In most cases it can be fixed, and in all cases it can be adapted to. Blaming is a choice, depression isn’t.
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In mythology the goat symbolises the lost. I prefer to think that if goats were ostracised it is because of their fierce independence and self-sufficiency. These are qualities that any culture or community needs in a few people, because they create waves and challenge the status quo. It’s easy to see why goats should stay in the […]
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