I often get asked about personal identity, as in “How can I find my true identity?”

In this post, I reflect on what identity really means, why it matters, and five simple steps you can take today to uncover who you truly are. It’s not about becoming someone new – it’s about rediscovering the person you’ve always been.

The context

Identity, in this context, is more than a name, a job, or the roles you play. It’s the core of who you are – your values, beliefs, preferences, and the unique mix of traits that shape how you experience life. When you know your identity, you’re not just drifting with other people’s expectations. You have a compass. You can make choices that align with what actually matters to you, rather than what you think you ‘should’ want.

Why does this matter? Because without clarity about your identity, you risk living someone else’s script. You say yes when you really want too say no. You pursue goals that look impressive on paper but feel empty once achieved. Knowing your true identity helps you anchor yourself. It builds resilience when life throws challenges at you and strengthens your confidence when making difficult decisions. Simply put, it saves you from wasting time on things that don’t align with your values, and your aspirations.

Know your values

Notice your energy

Look at patterns

Question outside influences

Experiment and adjust