I was asked about ‘toxic positivity’ as though it really exists. The questioner wanted to know how to ‘cure’ themselves. I suggested that they could focus on self-awareness and authenticity. One way to do that would be to consider developing their e motional intelligence.

Instead of worrying about this non-problem, learn to accept and appreciate who you are. If you think you something about you could be improved, work at it.

Or, and this is what I would tell a client if they consulted me about this, they could just stop looking for problems that don’t exist! If you have come across ‘toxic positivity’ (as I just have), beware. If you are tempted to label yourself as a victim of toxic positivity, don’t.

Phoney classifications

Clumping some personal characteristics together and calling the cluster ‘toxic positivity’ is not helpful. There is no validated classification in psychology by that name, so don’t get drawn into fake news on the web.

Accept and be happy with who you are.

The so-called symptoms of ‘toxic positivity’ are just a list of human characteristics we can all express, and they all have value at times (for example, denial can be a useful coping mechanism; showing others different perspectives is a recognised therapy intervention called ‘reframing’).

If you are unhappy with yourself, don’t look for some phony ‘diagnosis’, just accept yourself for who you are and work to be the best version of you that you can be.

You could also think about what it takes to flourish.

Accept and appreciate

Instead of worrying about this non-problem, learn to accept and appreciate who you are. If you think you something about you could be improved, work at it (that is called personal development).

Here’s my alternative list to get over ‘toxic positivity’:

Acknowledge your feelings
Express them appropriately
Stop looking for problems
Learn to distinguish fake news from genuine stuff
Learn the art of reframing
Be grateful for who you are
Be kind to yourself and others
Celebrate your successes.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.

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"Train your mind to look for your successes. They are happening all the time, you just have to look for them."
"We only develop greater resilience when we are deeply emotionally connected to other people."
"If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're probably right".
"Just because you can, it doesn't mean you should, nor that you have to".
"Simplify your life and work to be content. That will create the space for you to notice the joy. It's always there if you look."
“Personal Change Begins In The Imagination. You Have To Imagine It Before You Can Become It, Whatever ‘It’ Is”