Skip to Navigation

Arguments is often seen as destructive, it is also often believed to be synonymous with relationships in difficulty. But then, some psychologists have said the people who never argue are also in an unhealthy relationship.

Having worked for years in conflict resolution, in families and in the workplace, I have watched lots of arguments. It’s a privileged position from which to observe how people argue, forensically. I have also participated in quite a few domestics of my own; just because I know some stuff at work it doesn’t always follow that I can do it at home!

Arguing need not be destructive. I’m not promoting it as a strategy and the old saw about ‘clearing the air’ has its own air stable-door logic, but done right, even a heated argument can be a valuable exchange. The problem in not that we argue, but how we argue.

Productive arguing bear all the hallmarks of good communications – like listening, acknowledgment and recognition of the other’s points – just as destructive arguing breaks all the rules and seek only annihilation.

Done properly, arguments strengthen relationships so that, taken to their logical conclusion, arguments finally become unnecessary.

What do you think? Share your thoughts...

Latest from the blog

The Power of Acceptance and Curiosity

Curiosity, acceptance

Living in the moment is something we do naturally, so we all know how. Look closely and there are examples everywhere.

Here are six benefits you should know about.

Continue reading

Tend the Flowers, Not the Weeds

Success breeds success so the more you focus on the things that are working the easier it becomes to move forward with an idea. The gardening metaphor is apt. Finding out what grows well in a certain soil and climate, and planting the same varieties, produces more blooms (or carrots or cauliflowers), than struggling to […]

Continue reading
%d bloggers like this: