I have written on how the importance of forgetting is often under-used. Managing how we forget, or choosing to remember things we’d rather not be reminded of, can be helpful too. Deciding to remember something in a controlled way can actually help us move on from an event. It can be healing as well as instructive.

Try this

If there’s something you like to forget, but can’t, set aside a few minutes each day where you can really focus on and appreciate the event (by ‘appreciate’ I mean view critically, from as many angles as possible). Do this ritualistically; make yourself comfortable, same time, same place, pen and paper, just in case you need it… Set a timer and when your five minutes is up, stop and get on with something else.

Do this routine with the mindset of an observer, without judging. The idea is to witness the event, not relive it. All events are useful, even the ‘bad’ ones. Honour that, and with practice, you can teach your mind how to behave differently.