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Is your mind on your side, or is it working against you? Does it act like an ally who guides and supports you in your efforts or an enemy bent on holding you back?

Sadly, we are never taught to ‘make friends with our minds’. Even less attention is paid to how we manage feelings. We are encouraged to adopt healthy habits for our bodies, but our inner workings are generally ignored. (The exception to this is in sport, where attitude and belief are recognised as deciding factors in success).

Thoughts and feelings

So, tragically, most of us never consider the importance of our mental activities until some catastrophe strikes. We are a little more aware of our emotions, but there too we see ourselves as an observer, rather than a participant with influence.

Our thoughts and feelings are within our control, but many people are unaware of this, and at the mercy of the push and pull of inner forces they feel they can’t control.

It is true that thoughts and emotions come unbidden; ideas occur to us and feelings ‘just happen’. But that doesn’t mean we can’t influence how we think and feel. It requires self-awareness and practice, but it’s never too late.

The idea that ‘you can’t manage feelings’ is, quite simply, wrong.


I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.


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