You may not realise it but, if you are depressed, you talk to depression. There’s a kind of inner conversation which is constantly going on. it’s often a kind of argument, and usually one you won’t win.
If you talk to depression, it wins, so don’t get into an argument with it because that’s a dead-end.
When you are depressed it’s difficult to break the patterns of depression that keep you depressed. Depression has its own logic which hijacks your thinking. If you listen to depression, it will lie to you.
It does this by Anything you think that requires a response will be answered by depression:
You think: “I could go for a walk”
Depression says: “Not today, You’re too tired”
You think: “I wish I didn’t feel like this”
Depression says: “There’s nothing you can do about it”
You think: “I’d like to get back to work”
Depression says: “You won’t be able to manage it.”
and so on…
The same thing happens in response to well-meant advice from others:
They say: “It’s a lovely day, shall we go out?”
Depression says: “I don’t want to go out.”
They say: “You should get some help, there must be something that can help, a doctor, a counsellor…”
Depression says: “Nothing can help, this is how I am.”
They say: “Have you read that post I sent you?”
Depression says: “Leave me alone!”
If you talk to depression, it wins. There’s a critical inner voice that has an answer for everything; the logic of depression is pervasive and persuasive; it affects all aspects of your thinking. It sees its job as making sure that depression survives. It has no other aim in (your) life.
You can opt-out of the conversation by recognising that depression has hijacked your thinking and is manipulating you with its own skewed logic.
One way to break the pattern is to rebel. When you talk to depression, answer back! Don’t do what it tells you. Try doing the opposite, for example. Another practical way out is to treat depression as if it is a person you don’t trust. You don’t take the advice of people you don’t like, so why believe treacherous depression when it talks to you like that?