Watch the Pot After All
If you want to make changes in yourself it was once thought to be a bad idea to talk about it until you'd reached your goal. Solution Focused Therapists have always thought this is not the best way to go about things; checking progress AND acknowledging it really helps. Now new research confirms it.
How You Behave Is What You Are
We are exhorted to grow and change, often by those with vested interests and it's a short step to self-improvement bandwagon. Striving to be ourselves is not something that is familiar, but there are hidden advantages.
Fix What You Can, Not What Needs It
t’s great to be popular, or to have a skill that draws others to you, but the down-side is that you can find that demand exceeds supply. If you are one of lives ‘givers’ you’ll find plenty of ’takers’, but be careful not to allow your batteries to run dry.
The Value of Blank Space
Setting time aside is in itself a course of action that may make further action unnecessary. Scheduling demonstrates intent and commitment and starts the ball rolling, not just in therapy and coaching but in life in general.
The Last Day of Something, Is the First of Something New
Today may be a significant day. Even if it isn't, for you, it could be made into one. You don't have to be a philosopher to think about what's important to you, and there are more opportunities to do that than you might think.
Truth, Lies and Foolishness
Some anthropologists say that the ability to deceive is one of humans' greatest attributes because it helps us maintain social bonds. Then there are the moralisers who tell us why we should tell the truth. There will always be plenty of those. Telling the truth to ourselves is a personal choice that has little to do with morals. It has more to do with personal values, inner strength and personal integrity. And some say that it's a way to avoid folly.
… Does That Make Me a Bad Person?
The mind's brilliant ability to categorise people and things in an instant has obvious benefits for our survival. But, there's a downside that causes so many problems, it's worth examining the habit from time to time.
In Pursuit of Should-ness
If you are locked into a personal battle about what you should or shouldn't do, it can be pointless and self-defeating. There are many ways to be yourself. Just don't think how you should go about it. You can help your children too by avoiding the habit of telling what they should be.
Change Is Based On Existing Abilities
Although we usually think of therapy as being about change, it’s often more accurate to say that it is about doing more of what you already know how to do well. It’s not so much about change, as it is about identification and amplification. If you can do that in the right way, you won't need a therapist.
