Questions about bullying
I get a lot of questions about bullying and judging ...
My Time and Your Time
We think about time even when we don't know we are thinking about it. We don't really understand it even though we talk about it a lot. Most importantly, we think that because we can think about it, we have a handle on it, but we don't. If the concept of time didn't exist, how could we think and talk?
Successful People Fail All the Time
Goals and aspirations are fine, having high standards is good, and you can be proud of your high ideals. BUT, while all of these things are noble and worthy, they can be hard task-masters and will surely enslave you unless you hold them lightly. Success comes in many guises, so start by designing one that suits you. Aim to be perfect and to get it right first time by all means, but keep your feet on the ground and hold your high standards lightly.
Break the Pattern and Soar Like a Starling
Learning to spot patterns of interaction can be the key to repair in a disfunctional relationship. The beauty of this approach is that you don't need to see the overall picture, nor come up with a solution. You simply have to learn to break the pattern. More surprisingly, this works even if you can't actually SEE the pattern. You simply have to step out of line...
Kindness by Degrees at Work
Why we study and what we study seem to be linked to earning a living, rather than preparing us for life. The two are linked, but as so often happens we lose sight of the bigger picture.
What to Use When Things Are Broken
Feelings and impressions are powerful drivers in relationships. Their impact can be creative, or destructive. Usually, we only start to think about things like trust and respect when they are lost or threatened. That's a bit late, but it's never too late.
A year to think
I took a year out to think. I wanted to clear up loose ends and unfinished projects, and to see my way to the next part of my journey. I used the metaphor of "clearing the weeds to allow new growth". Instead of stopping everything, I stopped taking on new work projects. I cleared the decks of the old ones and dropped a couple that were planned. I used my 'weeds' metaphor and people seemed to understand. And now, almost a year to the day, I can see the way...
Watch the Pot After All
If you want to make changes in yourself it was once thought to be a bad idea to talk about it until you'd reached your goal. Solution Focused Therapists have always thought this is not the best way to go about things; checking progress AND acknowledging it really helps. Now new research confirms it.
How You Behave Is What You Are
We are exhorted to grow and change, often by those with vested interests and it's a short step to self-improvement bandwagon. Striving to be ourselves is not something that is familiar, but there are hidden advantages.
The Value of Blank Space
Setting time aside is in itself a course of action that may make further action unnecessary. Scheduling demonstrates intent and commitment and starts the ball rolling, not just in therapy and coaching but in life in general.
