Who Decides What We Are Capable Of?
Self-limiting beliefs may keep us safe and protect us from failure or embarrassment. But we all carry ideas that we have inherited and which may not be in our individual best interests. Becoming aware of the invisible maps that guide us can open up new areas of exploration.
Is ‘Time for Yourself’ Really the Answer?
People often say they want it, but, as they say, be careful about what you wish for. To be on the safe side – just in case you do manage to get the space you need – it's a good idea to think ahead and plan for it.
The Sow’s Ear Effect
Telling yourself good stuff about yourself seems, intuitively, like a good idea. It is supposed to help you feel good, or better, about yourself, and to gradually build self-esteem. But this only works if the statements – or 'affirmations' – are believable. Far fetched inspirational statements seem like a good idea, but they can actually have the opposite effect.
Hear the Storyteller, Not Just the Story
Stories have the power to persuade and change, they can also condemn and isolate us. Once we are past childhood we judge a story by the storyteller. We look for interests and motives that could render the story invalid or suspect. When we listen to the stories we tell ourselves we should be similarly cautious, the narrator is usually hugely biased.
Confusion (About Time and Sleep for Example)
We are taught to believe that aspects of our lives can be 'managed' as if they were physical entities like people or inventory items. This leads to confused thinking, lost time and poor sleep (for example).
Meetup – Live Today at 6.00 pm GMT
A reminder that my Meetup will be live online this evening at 6.00 pm (GMT). Join me and join in the discussion.
“I Just Need a Hug.”
A plaintive cry of powerlessness, a genuine plea for understanding, an expression of pain... or something else. How you say it and who you say it to are probably more important than saying it at all.
Intuition Is Your Friend – Sometimes
You can trust it, selectively. But like any friendship it needs to be nurtured and cared for.
“Listening Is All Very Well, But…”
I often hear people often say that they don't have time to listen, yet, they expect others to hear them. First, effective listening means that conversations are more productive and shorter (and you won't need to repeat the discussion), so the time thing is invalid. Second, the way to encourage listening is first to demonstrate it yourself. They may not copy you, but you are more likely to get their attention and set the scene for meaningful conversation.
