reinvent yourself, loss

There are times in our lives when we need to reinvent ourselves. Usually, these moments are forced on us by circumstance. Major shifts happen when we change jobs, lose someone we love, or move on after a broken relationship, for example.

Being able to cope with change is one of the hallmarks of resilience and a vital life skill. 

Whether or not you are going through a major shift in your life at the moment, it is well worth thinking about how you’d cope if the worst should happen.

It may never happen…

This is how we typically deal with thoughts about losing what we value. But, like it or not, we’ll all experience unwanted change at some point. We’ll be forced to accept a new way of thinking or doing things. If you don’t want to be permanently held back by the inability to change, now might be the time to practice a little.

I don’t want to worry you, but…

Fortunately, you don’t have to wait for the bad news. Nor do you need a total overhaul, you can reinvent yourself a little each day you’ll learn to be comfortable with change. This will stand you in good stead should the worst happen. This is not scaremongering. Studies show that people who think ahead like this actually do better in a crisis.

Our instincts drive us towards growth and, as we mature and develop experience, we must surely find new kinds of stimulus and inspiration if we are not to get bored with ourselves. That in itself means that if we are comfortable with uncertainty, we’ll be more open to change.

Maybe you think that this doesn’t apply to you; that there’s no need to reinvent yourself. You may be perfectly content and feel there’s no need to change. Or you are insecure and don’t want to rock the boat… so you prefer to leave things as they are. Worst case scenario? You see yourself as dull and unimaginative, a fixture in your own life, and devoid of the initiative it takes to approach life creatively.

Even if one of these applies to you and you are happy to go on as you are, it can happen that fate or circumstance can take a hand; someone else can decide that you have outlived your usefulness, or that what you do is no longer needed.

Some ways to reinvent yourself

Rather than finding out by chance that you are fading away or past your shelf-life, why not take the initiative by doing something new. For example:

  • Enrol in a course of study
  • Start a new hobby
  • Re-train and change your career path or job
  • Stretch yourself with a new challenge
  • Commit to a project that’ll give you a sense of self-worth
  • Go on a retreat.

The list could go on, but it’s not about what you decide to do, but that you recognise that you could do it.

Consider re-designing yourself, change will happen anyway. Then all you have to do is embrace it.

I’m a psychologist, coach, and therapist. All my work is aimed at enabling people to improve personal aspects of their lives and work.


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