When Optimism Meets Pessimism – Ouch!
How would you feel if every time you said something that was important to you, your best friend criticized or countered it with something that disagreed with what you'd just said? When we meet optimism meets pessimism it can produce some insulting and inconsiderate responses.
Patterns In Your Life
How do you change self-defeating behaviour when you don't know what it is? Simple really, when you know how. It's a bit like quantum physics (I think, but I could be wrong here). In quantum science they have had to test for things by assuming they are there and then working from that assumption. Its the same with patterns of behaviour. If you assume there is one and act to change it, you'll soon find out if it existed or not.
Adjusting to a New Reality for The Sake of the Children
Most people adjust to the 'new reality' eventually, when children are involved we have an obligation to do it sooner, rather than later. It's curious, that when grown-ups are angry they are told they are acting like children, and when children are angry, they are often told to "grow up." Dealing with the emotional aftermath of separation or divorce is unfathomably difficult, but however tough it is, part of the parental contract means that we will sometimes need to act like responsible adults, even though we don't want to.
Free Stress Reduction
There is something on the horizon. We all see it every day, but mostly we keep our eyes lowered. The something that we all see but many would prefer to avoid noticing is the common-sense dictum that taking time for ourselves, outside, is essential to both short- and long-term wellbeing and health. Whether it is a daily walk in the park or a weekend away every now and again (preferably both), mind and body need the sustenance that only contact with nature can give. The simple antidote to modern complaints ...
Nobody Has An Ego
We can be quick to judge, and pop-psychology has given us some great concepts to help us. If only we understood them well enough to use them.
The Cost of Email Interruptions
Tasks take a third longer to complete when staff are interrupted by email, research from Loughborough University has found. Academics from the University’s Department of Information Science conducted several research projects into the effects of email on staff productivity and stress levels. In this small study the team focussed on a large UK car rental company where selected staff were given a task to complete, followed by simulated email interruptions. The interrupt handling time, recovery time and the additional time to complete the original task were then measured. The study ...
Will They Change If you Give Them What They Want?
People often say that they 'won't give in'. They come up with all sorts of reasons. The problem can be that sometimes we need to placate the other person before we can have a proper discussion that will lead to understanding. By contrast, it's also common to overuse placation to keep the peace. This is a short term strategy that creates two losers.
My Personal Resilience Survey
My stats are telling me that a lot of people are looking for info on Personal Resilience. Naturally I want to respond to this in a helpful way, so I'd like a bit more info.
Chaperone or Shepherd, Same But Different
Chaperon, carer, parent or mentor... These are valuable enabling roles, but temporary. There's a thin line between them and the job of a shepherd, which can be limiting and restricting, or disabling.
