How to Stop Them Getting Your Goat
Continuing on the occasional goat theme, and thinking about how another person might find ways to get us rattled; here’s something I came across in my memory this morning.
Going from Strength to Strength
Simple ideas work best so here are a couple to consider if there is something you would like to change or improve. Useful in personal development but also vital guidance if you want to improve a relationship.
Empathy Gives High Returns
Our relationships are as essential to us as food and drink. When relationships are neglected they whither, and when a relationship dies a little bit of us does too. Maintaining and repairing relationships costs little, and done regularly it is effortless. We are all talented enough to do it, and gestures of empathy have a high interest rate, so the returns are good.
Going Over the Edge?
We are approaching a moment in the year that is known as a relationship black-spot. When tension is in the air we are more likely to fall out over little things, and these can rumble on and ignite bigger things. If you find yourself approaching a flash-point try this:
Who Owns Your Message?
One of the difficulties around communication is that we are given little in the way of practical advice on the topic. Even courses on communication tend to focus on content, and neglect method. If your message is important then the responsibility for understanding lies with you, the sender. If the listener doesn’t want to hear or is otherwise unavailable it is the sender’s job to make it possible for them to hear. Blaming someone for "not listening" may protect us, but it doesn't get the job done.
Beware of the Story, It’s Only the Blurb
The stories others tell about us can be likened to the publisher’s blurb on the back cover of a book. The job of the blurb is to describe the book. We are all editing our stories as we go along, and the blurb will change depending on who we are speaking to, our mood, the direction of the wind, or whatever.
Nothing is Wrong with You. It’s Life!
Starting out in life is no picnic, maybe. But neither is it a problem to be 'fixed'. Real life can be a series of setbacks, but it can also mean that challenges are opportunities for growth.
If It’s Not Broken Don’t Fix It….
It may be a mistake to try to improve something that works, but don't think that its OK to ignore things. Leaving things as they are without should not be an excuse for failing to look after ourselves or others. Good emotional health always involves honesty (with ourselves) and a degree of growth.
If You Want to Understand Others, Good Luck!
It's a natural human inclination to empathise, and to try to understand others. We don't all do it equally, and some don't seem to do it very well, but the tendency is there. But we can never know why people do what they do, what leads them to do certain things. We can guess and speculate, but we can't truly know what motivates another in their actions and behaviour.
Connectedness is Good
Staying socially active, being well connected with family, peers and colleagues, is a major factor in health and survival. The quality of our relationships is, to a large extent, what governs our sense of wellbeing and happiness.
